My kind of trouble doesn't take vacations.
I guess it's never too early to starting thinking about the 2012 presidential election.
The merits of Chuck Norris have been often lauded, but this is the first time I've seen a commendation for him to be president of these somewhat united states.
Top 10 Reasons Chuck Norris should be president:
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. (All of our economic problems would be solved!)
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. (We definitely need a President with self-control).
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. (No more Soviet leaders beating their shoes on the table!)
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's. (The movie "Super-Size Me" is all I have to say.)
- Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) (No more dependency on foreign oil!)
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. (Enough said)
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. (He is not wasteful! No more pork barrel spending!)
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around. (Equality for all!)
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego. (Osama doesn't stand a chance!)
- When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000. (American Education will be the best in the World!
Wake Up, America!
It seems like wherever you turn these days, the news is bad. Illegal immigrants are swarming over our borders. Our nation and American families are crippled by debt. We remain vulnerable to Islamist terrorist attacks. Judges ignore the Constitution and instead legislate from the bench. Faith and traditional values are under incessant assault from the media, leftist lawyers, and the liberal establishment. The core message of the Declaration of Independence--that everyone has a God-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness--is under threat from liberals who deny the right to life (or even the very idea of God-given rights), and who think the answer to every problem is a government program. They think that God, if He exists, might not know best, but liberal-run government certainly does. If you're worried about the direction our country is going, you're in good company. Chuck Norris remembers a better America--an America of faith, freedom, and respect for tradition, history, and human life--and in Black Belt Patriotism he shows what we need to do to reawaken the American dream, reignite the American spirit, and give our children and grandchildren the America they deserve: an America of freedom, opportunity, and faith. In ten practical, down-to-earth chapters, Norris gets back to basics, mining the insights of our founding fathers and applying their wisdom to the problems of today: immigration, the culture wars, the war against global terrorism, national (and personal) debt, even the epidemic of obesity that is killing more Americans than terrorists do. With the optimistic, get your-hands-dirty, can-do spirit that typifies what's best about America, Chuck Norris grapples with the toughest problems facing our country and proves that they're no match for Black Belt Patriotism. (from inside flap)