Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Won't you gentlemen have a Pepsi?

Though I don't see this blog as my locale for venting, I thought I would share some of my PET PEEVES and solicit some of yours in response.

Communication:
  1. Waiting on hold to talk with a company who has waffled and derailed my day.
  2. When anyone thinks their "don't remember" might trump my "do remember"
  3. When someone insists we just "drop it" (or the ultimate "whatever") the moment a conversation veers into an unwanted direction, particularly when the other person started the whole discussion/argument.
  4. Trying to talk over music that is too loud (e.g., in a restaurant or in a car).
  5. Hearing profanity in a public place, particularly around my kiddos.
  6. Hearing references to deity as exclamations and/or cuss words.
  7. Having such a small brain that as soon as I hear someone's name I've just as quickly forgotten it.
  8. Wanting to have conversation during the game. I'll pause the TiVo and we can chat, but this is the form of media whereby it transmits and we receive. Conversation should only be limited to the game and be along the lines of, "What in the world was that ref thinking?!" or "C'mon, this is why the game takes so long!" (when we have to change pitchers for each batter).
  9. When people announce "I'm not a racist or anything," but then proceed to say something that sounds curiously like they very well might be.
  10. Exaggeration or use of extremes & superlatives to describe or make a point. It seems things are either loved by everyone or hated by everybody. The words lose their meaning when used in place of more moderate language.
  11. "Close talker."
  12. "One-Upper."
  13. Going to someone's house and trying to converse over an unwatched television that just has to be on anyway.
  14. Greeting another man and receiving a limp-wrist handshake in the process ... creepy!

Restrooms:
  1. Installing a toilet paper roll so that the tissue unwaps from the under side of the roll.
  2. Using the TP down to the last few squares without fetching a new roll.
  3. In public restrooms, a tightly wound roll that is nearly impossible to unwind without each individual square becoming detached.
  4. Restrooms where the exit requires me touching a door handle, thereby putting me in danger of contracting the AID.
  5. Restrooms where they have the hot air hand dryers, thereby ensuring that I will have to wipe my hands on my pants to effectively dry them.
  6. Automatic paper towel dispensers that give you just a sheet at a time, requiring me to flail my arms about in an erratic fashion to get more.
  7. I'm a high kicker, but with my height it can still be a whippin to have the urninal handle too high. This, of course, can make the kick flush, while necessary, a risky proposition, particularly if the ground is less than dry.
  8. The stall door that won't stay shut, requiring one to keep a foot or hand on the door while handling up on one's business.

Driving:
  1. Taking forever to leave a parking space while others are clearly waiting for it.
  2. Slowing down to enter the left turn lane.
  3. Driving behind a SUV, van, or panel truck to where I can't see what's going on in front of me.
  4. Not signalling, particularly when I'm waiting on the car to pass by on the cross street and then it turns right beside me. If he/she would have signalled, I could have gone.
  5. Being asleep at the wheel and not taking a right on red or those who don't know that rule.
  6. Being asleep at the wheel and not having the car in gear (standard transmission) to be able to go when the light turns green. I'm pretty confident it will turn green ... eventually. Put the thing in first gear now.
  7. Having time consumed merging down to one lane in a construction zone only to see there's STILL no construction in progress.
  8. Folks that change lanes at the last minute to jockey for position when it means they are now in the lane that could turn right on red, but they prevent a line of us from doing so since they are planning to continue through the intersection.
  9. SUVs parked askew so that they ooze over into another spot, thereby rendering it useless except for a motorcycle.
  10. Discourteous drivers who advertise affiliation with Jesus through bumper sticker or fish.
  11. Teenagers who drive grandpa's car so they can park in the handicapped spots.
  12. Paying $2.499 for a gallon of gas instead of just paying $2.50.
  13. Paying $2.50 (or more) for a gallon of gas.

English Language:
  1. Though it has become popular as of late, hearing that something makes one "nauseated" vs. "nauseous."
  2. Hearing "incidences" vs. "incidents."
  3. Saying, "I could care less" when one really means, "I couldn't care less."
  4. In football, they now "defense" (a play) instead of "defend" against it.
  5. What's with the pluralizing proper nouns? The popular media loves to talk about the "Bill Gateses and the Troy Aikmans and the George Bushes of the world."
  6. The use of "Guys" to refer to a group that either includes or is exclusively female. Everyone nowadays is a guy, even a group of women is addressed as "guys" (even by another woman).
  7. Needing to add "-ate" to some words to make them sound more important or whatever (e.g., orientate instead of orient, commentate instead of comment).
  8. Wrong use of words that sound alike, but are spelled differently and mean something else (e.g., your/you’re, there/their/they’re, to/too/two, here/hear, principle/principal, past/passed, weather/whether).
  9. An overuse or misuse like (e.g., "Like, you’re crazy, man," or "I was like, 'oh, my,' and she was like, 'un huh,' etc.).
  10. The misuse of the apostrophe, which is not used with a personal pronoun (e.g., the dog lost its bone, not "it's"). The apostrophe shows possession (e.g., "Harley's bone was lost), but that is not needed with the possessive pronoun. The apostrophe also is used in contractions, being used in place of a letter or letters (e.g., it replaces the "i" when "It is a nice day" becomes "It's a nice day"). It is never to be used to pluralize words (e.g., "orange's" for sale).
  11. The way email has somehow enabled us to abandon any and all English language convention, capitalization, spelling, and punctuation are all optional.
  12. Sticking an extra "s" on words (e.g., "that's besides the point", "in that respects", etc.).
  13. The inadequacy of the English language to distinguish between the second person singular versus plural. Fortunately, in Texas we have both "you" and "y'all."
  14. That point is "moot," not "mute."
  15. "Raise" is a transitive verb; it takes a direct object. "Rise" is intransitive. You rise from bed. You raise your glass.

Children:

  1. When they're loud when you want them to be quiet and quiet when you want them to sound off.
  2. Talking up a storm and shutting it down when you give them the phone to talk to Nana.
  3. Caring so much about what other kids have.
  4. When they have a really good trick, but won't perform on cue.
  5. Hearing of their hunger less than 20 minutes after leaving the restaurant and their uneaten, yet paid for, meal.

Random Cag:

  1. Hangers... how they get all tangeled with each other in the closet so that a whole bundle fall to the floor when you just want one.
  2. Sitting by the air conditioner or under the fan and then complaining about being cold and shutting off the ac or fan.
  3. REALLY needing to get to sleep and not being able, a problem that seems to increase in intensity with the degree of need for rest and with the decrease of amount of sleep I'll be getting.
  4. Tossing dirty utensils into the side of the sink where the disposal waits to gobble them up when no one is looking so they can make that unpleasant grinding sound when said disposal is activated.
  5. The racket of trying to get everybody wearing bicycle helmets. Somebody's making bundles of money on that unncessary industry. When I was a kid, we skinned up knees and elbows and whatnot. I'm in the vast minority here, but I think wearing a bike helmet is for sissys. Even my girls don't wear them.
  6. Movie rental places saying that we've seen the end of late fees and then charging me a late fee (relabeled as a restocking fee).
  7. Non-conformists who conform together in their non-conformity.
  8. When people enter through the exit door(s) and vice versa.
  9. Heinously immodest clothing, particularly on those who should have ceased wearing such 50 pounds and/or 20 years ago. Do we really need to see undergarments or your rib or pelvic bones in everyday life?
  10. People who are making a longer, rather than shorter, visit to my home who park in the driveway.
  11. It's such a whip to gather up all my cag, make my way to the vehicle, only to realize I have to go back in to inform the driver of my need to use the driveway. Then the person has to find the keys, etc. It's a whippin. Just park in front of the house like the good Lord intended.
  12. Reading a book that has endnotes instead of footnotes, which means I'm constantly referring to the back of the book to see if that note is of any benefit/consequence.
  13. Having to peel stickers off my books (e.g., price tag, "sale" marker, etc.).

Computers:

  1. I'm whipped by web pages that require you to change settings, download anything or read a tutorial.
  2. Popups or loud music or other cag on web pages with no obvious or convenient way to disable that just annoys and/or delays page loading.
  3. Having to restart the computer after making any seemingly insignificant changes.

Ecclesiastical:
  1. "Arminians" are those who embrace a theology bearing the name of Jacobus Arminius (i.e., those who are not Calvinists). "Armenians" are people from Armenia.
  2. It is the book of Revelation, not RevelationS.
  3. Being treated like as though I haven't actually studied and been trained to be a pastor/preacher.
  4. Folks with their minds so made up that they are incapable of discussion or learning.
  5. The inability to disagree with others in Christian love and not be mad at or hate them, that is taking it as a personal offense when disagreed with and/or seemingly criticized.
  6. People who seem themselves as the standard of righteousness, particularly when they see the sins they don't struggle with as supreme, but the ones they do as trivial.
  7. Seeing any one particular translation of the Bible as so vastly superior to others, particularly with disregard for objective standards of evaluation.
  8. The false dichotomies, that is presenting an "either/or" choice when one doesn't need to be made or when both can be chosen (e.g., Christians should either be pro-life or care about the poor; Christians should just go save souls rather than talking about theology, etc.).
  9. The straw man argument, that is presenting a false representation of a view with which you don't agree to win support for one's view (e.g., presenting Calvinism as a theology that doesn't believe in missions/evangelism since it adheres to the biblical doctrine of predestination, neglecting to mention the many great evangelists who disprove that theory (e.g., William Carey, George Whitefield, Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards, John Calvin, etc.)).

Dining:

  1. When my food order gets cagged (e.g., contaminating an otherwise unsullied burger with the tomfoolery known as vegetables and condiments, when requested to keep them far away).
  2. When someone touches the salt or pepper shaker with really greasy or BBQ fingers.
  3. Kids slooging the utensils and such at a buffet.
  4. Restaurants that don't provide free reloads on drinks (e.g., White Castle).
  5. When some goon takes more 4 (or more) of the 8 pieces of the new pizza just out on the buffet.
  6. People with fast metabolisms assuming that heavy people are such merely because they eat a great deal.
  7. The curse of the male waiter and all his disinterestedness and inattentiveness, both of which scream that he'd much rather be somewhere else since this job is so beneath him.
  8. Asking for a Coke in a restaurant and hearing, "Is Pepsi okay?" because it's not.

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18 Comments:

At 12 April, 2006 09:10, Anonymous Stephanie said...

That little town just north of San Antonio and south of San Marcos is called New BRAUNfels. It is not New BRAUNSfels.

 
At 12 April, 2006 16:27, Blogger Mike said...

I was at a White Castle up in Louisville a couple weeks ago that seemed to have free refills.

 
At 12 April, 2006 17:59, Blogger GUNNY said...

SWEET!

The ones in the St. Louis area do not nor did the one in Minneapolis I was at earlier this year.

However ... I'll be hitting one in Louisville later this month at the Together for the Gospel conference.

http://togetherforthegospel.org

Thanks for the good word, Mike!

 
At 12 April, 2006 18:17, Blogger Mike said...

Good luck with the refills, there. And good providence in getting free filling in other nourishment. Or some other parallel like that.

 
At 12 April, 2006 18:27, Blogger GUNNY said...

Danke, Mike.

I anticipate getting fully loaded on food, both physical (White Castle) and spiritual (Matt 4:4; Deut 8:3), during that trip.

Any other good feed hot spots of which I should take note?

 
At 12 April, 2006 19:20, Anonymous Horhay said...

Hartman, is it coincidence that all of your spiritual retreats happen to be in cities with White Castle, or is that something you actively consider?? I am thinking the latter.

And, it drives me nuts in Church when the peeps are praying for multiple things, but before each thing they say, "we just pray for x, we just pray for y, we just pray for z." If it's a 'just' then there should only be one thing!

 
At 12 April, 2006 21:14, Blogger Mike said...

Unfortunately I just got to pass through really quick and only the once, so I don't really know the town.

I think I ate 3 meals there: one at Whitecastle, one at the Founder's Cafe (on campus at Southern,) and one at some German restaurant, though the German restaurant might have been in Nashville; it was mediocre, anyways.

You might see about trying some Kentucky style BBQ. I believe the most unique thing is supposed to be the presence of mutton.

 
At 13 April, 2006 05:57, Blogger GUNNY said...

Deines,

Let's just say that the proximity of a White Castle makes a conference much more competitive for my developmental love.

However, I did go to Sproul's pastor's conference a few years back in FL. I got some good RC, but no WC. Getting some of the latter would have turned a great conference into an excellent one.

You're welcome to join Oilcan and I on our roadtrip to STL to catch some Cardinals baseball and White Castle. That White Castle is good. I want to be friends with it.

Thanks for the feed tips, Mike. Although I could eat White Castle the whole time, my wingmen might appreciate some variety.

 
At 13 April, 2006 14:06, Blogger Mike said...

Want a real tip?

Be sure to pick up a bust of Spurgeon or a Luther statuette at the Southern bookstore.

 
At 13 April, 2006 15:37, Blogger GUNNY said...

Or ... BOTH!

I've never been on the SBTS campus and hope to check it out. We book reservations on the campus just in case, but other options panned out. I had thought pretty hard about getting a PhD there, but other options panned out.

I'm looking forward to getting some good Al Mohler action.

Incidentally, Horhay, I feel you on the "just" action!

 
At 13 April, 2006 16:13, Blogger Mike said...

Yeah, I had the pleasure of visiting it for the first time on the aforementioned trip.

Seriously, though, the bookstore has some pretty odd historical figure stuff stuff. There were also busts of Bunyan, statuettes of Calvin, and various portraits for sale. In a way I wondered who'd buy such things, but in a way I wanted them.

For some reason, with the statue stuff, the baptists were busts and the reformers were statuettes. Conspiracy, anyone?

Overall, the bookstore was really cool. I could have spent a lot longer there than I did. (You lucky fool! You get to spend that kind of times with some of the best folk writing them.)

Anyways, I was mesmerized by it, at least. Best Lifeway on Earth. I went to the bookstore at Southwestern once, and I wasn’t nearly as impressed.

But, alas, I ramble.

 
At 13 April, 2006 17:06, Blogger Mike said...

Beats the hell out of the MSC bookstore, at least.

 
At 14 April, 2006 01:23, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear you on the "your/you're" problem. That drives me crazy. The "drive thru" has taught people that "thru" is an acceptable word. My daughter brought home something from a teacher that used the word "aloud" when it should have been "allowed."

Here's another one: Adjectives modify nouns. Adverbs modify verbs. Wrong way: "You did good." Right way: "You did well." I wish they would bring back Schoolhouse Rock. "Sally, Sally, Sally get your adverbs here."

And it seems we are just getting lazy in our speech. Most people say "probly" instead of "probably." "Intrest" has replaced "interest." "Comfterble" has replaced "comfortable."

Then there's the "who/ whom" problem. "Who" is used for the subject of a sentence. "Whom" is used for the object.

 
At 24 April, 2006 22:06, Blogger GUNNY said...

oi vay!

So true, those (ab)uses of the language really chap my linguistic hide as well.

Incidentally, I got the Schoolhouse Rock compilation from the library a few years back.

That was sheer greatness. At some point, I'll pick up a copy for the kiddos to ensure they don't fall off the English wagon.

I'm just a bill ... on Capitol Hill.
Interjection
Verb

So, I'll pack up my adjectives and get back to scanning the globe for language infractions.

 
At 29 April, 2006 18:58, Blogger GUNNY said...

Mike,

The White Castle we hit a few times ... HARD in downtown Louisville did indeed have free reload on drink, though their choices were suspect.

Their Diet Coke was without caffeine and there was lamenting among our group that there was no Dr. Pepper.

Really good bookstore SBTS had. They had a great Bunyan bust in addition to Luther, but Spurgeon was nowhere to be found. Some great prints of theological heros were on display for sale as well. However, I was loaded down with free books from the conference, so I exercised some restraint.

Thanks for the tip, Mike, it ensured we made the trip to SBTS.

 
At 02 May, 2006 13:19, Anonymous Russ said...

Okay...definitely agree on the issue of tight/inadequate toilet paper. I don't really care if I have to go under the roll or over the roll, but please let me have enough to do my job.

What's even worse are those dispensers deliberately designed to only ALLOW you to have one or two sheets - the ones with that spring mechanism that jerks it back when you've taken your alloted post-it note's worth.

Ugh!

 
At 13 July, 2007 12:44, Blogger paulustignarius said...

found this somehow, and you posted it so long ago that no one will ever see this, but for what it's worth -- a great reason to install the roll where the paper is underneath is having a 2 year old in your home. A 2 year old can't figure out how to spin the roll and yell "WHEEEE!" That is...until he turns 3.

 
At 13 July, 2007 14:41, Blogger GUNNY said...

Good point. As one who's on his 4th 2-year old at the moment I'm going to change all the rolls in the bathrooms she has access to!

Thanks for the tip.

 

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