That's not a knife. This is a knife.

Because I want to address a topic next week that mentions the "spiritual one-upper," I thought I'd define and describe him or her ahead of time. I've mentioned the phenomenon previously with regard to modesty/pride, but wanted to elaborate.

The one-upper is a person who can do you one better, at a dinner party or wherever. You've been to Europe, he backpacked from New York to London to Berlin to Moscow and back again, never even needing transportation assistance.

Whatever the category, you're outdone. That's bad enough in regular life, but what about the spiritual one-upper? (cf. The "Jesus Juke")

This is the person who can be relied upon to say something more spiritual than what you said, often rebuking you for not being more spiritually minded. The spiritual one-upper seemingly waits for a chance to pounce on you when you seemingly say or do something, anything, that might give the appearance that you were thinking of something less than the eternal glory of God or the eternal destiny of a fellow human being.

Perhaps some dialogue examples will help.

• Lovely warm weather today, isn't it?
• Really, how can you even think about yourself and the warmth when you know there are those in hell right now who know what real heat is like?

• I can't believe how expensive gasoline has become.
• God is in control of the world, brother, don't lose your faith. OR I wouldn't know. I ride my bicycle instead. I sold my car and we donated that money and the money used to spend on fuel to the missionary giving out Bibles in the jungle. OR Brother, that's nothing compared to the cost of a human soul in danger of the fires of hell. You should thank God you had an opportunity to share Jesus with the cashier.

• That was a great sermon today.
• Whenever I hear the Word of God preached, I feed on it richly, so I don't evaluate the sermon. It evaluates me.

• We had to get the air conditioner fixed at our house.
• We gave our air conditioner away so we could better empathize with those on the path to an eternal and fiery hell. The money we used to spend on utilities we now send to the "innocent native in Africa" so he can have bus money for the 8 hour trip to church.

• I've been praying that God would give me a husband.
• I'm too busy dating Jesus to be concerned about a relationship with a mere mortal man.

You get the idea and may have heard some yourself.

This is a tough one to combat, because the spiritual one-upper can get you every time, unless you give that money to (a) your church, (b) international missions, or (c) the homeless, orphans, etc.

Hopefully, I've not given you the impression that the spiritual one-upper is the more spiritual person. Often, it's the opposite, though he or she will always see him or herself as the more spiritual.

Sometimes it's clear to others, though they are so lacking in self-awareness that they won't see it. I'm talking about the person who doesn't attend church stuff because only people like you need that. I'm talking about the person who might say with a straight face, "I don't have a problem with pride like you do." (inside joke)

Truth be told, we can all fall into this trip and come across as arrogant, or worse, as spiritual. Be careful that in your desire to be spiritual you're not becoming the spiritual one-upper, wearing your spiritual growth on your sleeve for all to see.

Let's face it. You really can't win with the spiritual one-upper, because even if you win, you lose.

The best you can do is beat him (or her) by being a better one-upper. Even if you lay in wait and spring one on him, all you've really done is inflate your pride and feed your dark side by making someone look like the hypocrite he is.

For your entertainment, I share with you the garden variety one-upper.

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?

Here are 10 Magnets to Men's Eyes, thoughts from Pastor Al Martin of Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

Not too long ago I shared some information and links regarding modesty in dress, but Dr. Martin here does a nice job in explaining the way men's minds work.* He aims to help Christian women avoid giving their Christian brothers "an occasion of struggling with purity of mind."

10 Magnets to Men's Eyes:

1. Dresses or skirts with lengthy slips
2. Dresses or skirts which hug the buttocks
3. Any upper garment that hugs the breasts
4. Unbuttoned blouses, low necklines, or cleavage on any upper body garment
5. Sleeveless blouses or dresses with large armholes
6. Low-rise skirts, jeans, or pants
7. See-through garments of any kind
8. Skirts and dresses that are just plain too short
9. Slacks or pants or jeans that hug the buttocks, the thighs, and the crotch
10. A bared midriff and back

Pertinent Quotes:

• "The purity of your motive does not cancel the effect of you dress."
• "I'm not a dirty-minded old man trying to rob you of your Christian liberty! I'm a pastor determined that in this place women shall appear modestly to the glory of God and to the good of their precious brothers."
• For a husband to help his wife by being the "quality control" for his wife in the area of immodest dress, particularly those magnets to men's eyes: "She's not a man! She doesn't think like a man! You can't expect her to think like a man, but you are a man, aren't you?! Well, begin to act like one!"

Counsel to women:

1. Repent of the ways in which you have unwittingly and carelessly allowed yourself to be sucked in by the world's standards and have caused occasion of stumbling to your brothers.
2. Then bring forth fruits meet with repentance (i.e., purge your wardrobe).
3. Pray for and labor to cultivate a sensitive and well instructed conscience before God concerning this issue.

Watch the pertinent portion of the passionate message, or download the entire sermon, "Validating the Gospel in Modesty."

*Disclaimer: I don't believe the obligation for modesty only applies to females and I don't believe modesty only applies to attire and I don't believe males are free from responsibility when they lust.

You'd probably abandon your clothing if it made any kind of emotional demand on you!

While I don't believe the obligation for modesty only applies to females and I don't believe modesty only applies to attire and I don't believe males are free from responsibility when they lust, the following may prove insightful with regard to those areas.

Joshua Harris:

Girls, you have an equally important role. Remember the wayward woman we discussed earlier? Your job is to keep your brothers from being led astray by her charms. Please be aware of how easily your actions and glances can stir up lust in a guy’s mind.

You may not realize this, but we guys most commonly struggle with our eyes. I think many girls are innocently unaware of the difficulty a guy has in remaining pure when looking at a girl who is dressed immodestly. Now I don’t want to dictate your wardrobe, but honestly speaking, I would be blessed if girls considered more than fashion when shopping for clothes. Yes, guys are responsible for maintaining self control, but you can help by refusing to wear clothing designed to attract attention to your body.

I know the world tells you that if you have a nice body, you should show it off. And we men have only helped feed this mentality. But I think you can play a part in reversing this trend. I know many girls who would look great in shorter skirts or tighter blouses, and they know it. But they choose to dress modestly. They take the responsibility of guarding their brother’s eyes. To these women and others like them, I’m grateful.”

“and let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24) It’s time to start seeing other people’s purity as our responsibility.

— Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Related Items:

• Read It is our most modestly priced receptacle. (Gunny's thoughts on modesty being about more than just clothing)
• Read Is modesty an issue in the church today? (An audio response from John Piper about this issue for women AND men)
  
• Read Modesty: A Word to Fathers. (C.J. Mahaney's wisdom to fathers about modesty and their daughters)
• Read Modesty and the Christian Woman. (Lionel Woods' thoughts on how Christian women should dress in a non-Christian world)
• Check out The Modesty Survey. (An exciting, anonymous discussion between Christian guys and girls who care about modesty hosted by TheRebelution.com, "a teenage rebellion against low expectations")
• Check out Why is a daughter's modesty a dad's responsibility? (A video clip of John Piper's message on the role of the Christian husband)
• Read Mary K. Mohler's Modeling Modesty. (a pdf booklet which uses some interesting and thought-provoking fictional characters to illustrate what is happening to Christian women in the area of (im)modest dress)
• Read "True Beauty" by Carolyn Mahaney. (a pdf chapter in the book,Biblical Womanhood in the Home)
  
• Read Modesty: The Attitude of the Modest Woman. (C.J. Mahaney's thoughts on the mindset behind modesty)
  
• Read No shirt. No shoes. No dice. (Gunny's exploratory thoughts on modesty with regard to attire)

To women: “And you must not lay a stumbling block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust, nor make your ornaments snares but you must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see the flame which you would not foresee, when it is too late to quench it.”
~Richard Baxter

No shirt. No shoes. No dice.

Sometimes it takes a few items to get me thinking, this time about modesty.

I saw this piece about a man fined $25 for walking topless on a public street. This seems odd, though it would be understandable if it was a woman walking topless.

Also, one of my kids asked me why I was not wearing a shirt around the house, to which I responded with, "That how I roll."

I was then asked, "How come girls can't go without a shirt?" To that I responded with, "Well, I guess that's just how our country rolls."

But thinking about modesty I wondered if Christians were more culturally dependent than we care to admit. I had addressed modesty before as being about more than just clothing, but I wonder particularly about clothing at this time.

Prior to the fall ...

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
-Genesis 2:25

After the fall ...

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
-Genesis 3:7

We've been having trouble with these issues ever since. But are we culturally dependent on defining modesty? Should we be?

Did the Bible decree shirts optional for men? Did the Bible define different levels of modesty depending on venue?

Can we be guilty of hypocrisy if we decry "cultural relativism," but then say you can wear something on the beach, but not at the mall?

(HT Hough for the t-shirt pic)

It is our most modestly priced receptacle.

What comes to mind when I say the word modesty? As the father of 3 girls, I can assure the topic has come up in many mother-daughter conversations, but I appreciate the wisdom of a fellow blogger:

Why is it that the dress habits of 15 year old girls is pretty much the only thing some Christians talk about when the topic is "modesty?" Nobody talks about the 16 year old basketball player who rubs it in to those who didn't make the team. Or the 35 year old man who buys the biggest house, best sports car, loudest stereo, etc. in order to show off his income. Or the 23 year old blogger who knows he's right about everything.

Indeed, modesty is more than just a (young) lady covering sensitive regions of skin.

"Modesty comprises a set of culturally or religiously determined values that relate to the presentation of the self to others." (HT Wikipedia)

If modesty is in the same family as humility, which it must be since both are on the endangered species list, then we really have our work cut out for us in the church with regard to modesty. There's much more that needs policing than merely clothing that is too tight, though that shouldn't go unattended.

For example, selfishness is a delusion of one's greater importance than others, a flexing of the immodesty muscles. The spiritual one-upper who has to outdo the other folks in Sunday school or with regard to how the children are educated or how meager the family is with finances might all be found thanking God they are not like that immodest teenager over there.

What about the singer of the "special" who can't wait for another turn in the spotlight? What about those in the church who only want to serve when it means they get to teach or preach? That way they can show off what they know to further their reputations.

What about the amount of time or money that is spent on looking good? I'm not just talking women, but men too. Think of how much time & money American Christians spend at the gym just so they can look good. Oddly enough, we have no indication Jesus was ever a regular at the gym or was ever on a diet. The Proverbs 31 woman didn't seem to spend bundles of money on make up, since she never bought into the lie that you she had to show herself she was worth it by buying the expensive products.

Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
- 1 Timothy 4:7-8, ESV

There's nothing wrong with looking good or being healthy, quite the contrary. But I can assure you that much more time, effort, and finances go into making people physically fit, while they spend so little to rectify the situation of being spiritually flabby.

As Christians, most of us could probably do with a dose of modesty in living within our means and in how we present ourselves to others. In other words, modesty is a problem for all of us, it just make take different forms.

I better stop lest this "blogger" gives the impression he has a clue about anything, particularly modesty.

P.S. This picture is to give a hint as to the answer to King Pin's question in the comments section.