Monday, February 22, 2010

I don't know what the beef is between you, but you better grill it up and eat it

BBQ RULES (HT Jade)
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

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6 Comments:

At 22 February, 2010 07:38, Blogger Tom Bryant said...

I understand the rules.... except you made one major mistake... BBQ is a year round sport. :-)

 
At 22 February, 2010 09:48, Blogger Timothy said...

I love the rules. Now... I need to buy a new grill! When we moved to Jackson, we sold or gave away the two grills we had because they were quite old. Lo and behold, we realized how much we used the grill and miss it dearly.

 
At 22 February, 2010 11:47, Blogger GUNNY said...

Good point, Tom. I know here in Texas my grill gets no "off season."

Timothy, I think that should have been the top of your list for Santa this past Christmas. We gave away our old grill too ... but not until after we got the new one! ;-)

 
At 22 February, 2010 16:10, Blogger Jade said...

What's the matter with you Gunny ... you failed to show the "man BBQ"! :D

Tim, understanding the Texas culture down there (well not exactly that I understanding it, but is known to have a large support for the NRA), I believe the BBQ grill you wanna get is in the referred link above.

 
At 22 February, 2010 21:39, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, basically, we put the meat on the grill, take it off, and get praised. Very nice. I also like the exclusion zone. But somehow, recently, I have found myself frequently doing the dishes. Not sure how that happened.

 
At 24 February, 2010 19:22, Blogger Jade said...

Anonymous, you have a very clever wife. Consider that a blessing. :oD

 

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