Saturday, August 12, 2006

That rug really tied the room together, did it not?

The following is a list of some corollaries to Murphy's Law.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug, much to the demise of that rug, which really tied the room together.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Automotive Precipitation: The day you wash your car is the day it rains.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Flying the Friendly Skies: The amount of time you have between flights is inversely proportional to the distance between gates.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Tangles: Unsupervised cords will take advantage of the first opportunity to entangle themselves.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Last Bulb: When replacing each and every bulb in a string of Christmas lights to find the one breaking the series, the last possible light will be the culprit.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Flux: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Law of Dining Proximity: If you are the only party in a restaurant, the newcomers will sit at the closest table.

Law of Undue Optimism: The directions that state the job will take 2-3 people 8-10 hours will take 3 people 12 hours, with multiple pieces left over.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Last Look: When searching for a lost item, the last possible place it could be is the place it will be.

Buster Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

Law of Murphy's Chronology: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong ... and at the worst possible time.

Law of Worst Case Scenario: If there is a possibility of multiple things going wrong, the one that could cause the greatest amount of damage will.

Law of Possibility: If something absolutely, positively cannot go wrong, it most certainly will.

Law of To NOT Be Continued: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse.


At 12 August, 2006 01:51, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Truly awesome post. Totally agree with the karma-esc feel of it all. Particularly liked: "Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee."

At 15 August, 2006 01:45, Blogger GUNNY said...

Somewhere there's a corrolary that as soon as you pass the point of no return with regard to takin' care of business in the restroom your mobile phone rings.

What about the slowness of the check out person at the store increases exponentially with the degree of a hurry you are in.

At 17 August, 2006 14:09, Blogger C. T. Lillies said...

You forgot Murphy was a grunt.

I laughed so hard I almost snorted when I read the Law of Flux.


At 19 August, 2006 16:13, Blogger LiteratureLover said...

Too funny!


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