Friday, March 28, 2008

Watch your mouth, kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home.

Recently I've seen 2 little boys in public in need of a trip to the woodshed. One was rock throwing boy who wouldn't heed my admonitions and his parents were surprisingly apathetic.

Today there was a similar sort--the pusher, the taker of toys ... you know, the bully that every parent dreads seeing on the playground.

His mom finally made an attempt by sternly saying, "Sit here, 2 minutes." He defiantly said, "No!" and proceed to get up. This cycle was comical to watch on one hand, but a pathetic display of a child in need of discipline.

It reminded me of Douglas Wilson's 7 “musts” about discipline, though I can't recall where I found them.

1. Discipline must be confident. (Prov 22:15) “…The word confident literally means ‘with faith.’ Your children must be disciplined in faith, through faith, and from faith…”

2. Discipline must be affectionate. (Heb. 12:5-6) “A man who refuses to discipline his son is, in effect, disinheriting him. This rejection, or hatred, is utterly contrary to the attitude Christian parents are to have toward their children. Affectionate discipline gives the children something to return to after repentance.”

3. Discipline must be judicial. (Gal. 1:6) “Discipline must begin with self-discipline.”

4. Discipline must be swift. (Gal. 6:7) “… a godly father should remember he is not just exercising the principle, he is teaching the principle to young minds. Consequently, the time between sowing and reaping should be as short as possible. Even the youngest infant understands causation at some level, but the younger the child the more immediately he should be disciplined.”

5. Discipline must be painful. (Heb 12:11) “If the discipline is not painful, then it does not qualify as discipline…The pain involved in godly discipline is both positive and negative. Swift, painful discipline does not mean the father is to be an ogre but just the reverse…A man who is incapable of lovingly encouraging his children after discipline in not qualified to exercise any discipline at all. The encouragement must include follow up instruction… It should also include prayer. God is present and working through discipline, and His presence should be acknowledged. The child should be assured of forgiveness. The breach of fellowship is now gone. As a result, there has been restoration of fellowship. A father should take special care to be warm and cheerful after discipline.”
6. Discipline must be effective. (Heb. 12:11b)

7. Discipline must reflect biblical standards. “(a father) must not confuse house rules with God’s rules… God does not require that little kids keep their feet off the couch. This is a house rule. God does require that children obey their parents. This is God’s rule. And that is why they must keep their feet off the couch.”

6 Comments:

At 28 March, 2008 12:33, Blogger Rev. said...

What a picture. You know that's his momma sitting down there. She's not putting up with his mess, is she?!?

 
At 28 March, 2008 12:36, Blogger GUNNY said...

Amen, brother.

I've seen a plethora of kids that need to spend some time with this mom, lest they wind up like El Guapo.

 
At 28 March, 2008 13:31, Blogger samurai said...

More people - within the Church - need to follow these guidelines. I know I have not done this perfectly with my own children, but at least enough that we often hear compliments on how they have behaved (by God's grace).

"Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

 
At 28 March, 2008 13:35, Anonymous Lionel said...

THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!!!!!


PS: By Doctor Phil's standard

I love this picture!!! It was sad to see the last sentence "to be with daddy", how we need more black men to stand in the gap bro!

 
At 28 March, 2008 15:41, Blogger Jesus Girl said...

Number 5 is really what impacts the child. It encourages correction out of love instead of wrath and anger with no suggestion on how to improve. I enjoyed this blog. I believe if more parents were skilled in the art of discipline we would have healthier, happier, stronger children.

A post that needs to be reviewed daily.

 
At 29 March, 2008 17:53, Blogger KELLY said...

Discipline. I think, as a parent, its so much harder to give - but, I this weekend I realized how much kids crave order, structure and discipline.

We have a 16 year old son - and, thankfully, have only had to punish him a handful of times! Thank you, Jesus! But, because of this - it makes it harder when we have to come down on him - and for some reason - he never believes me when I say "this hurts me more than it hurts you!" :)

 

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