Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The toilet seat's up, man!

We go to school to learn and we get degrees which are meant to symbolize that we know something, but where do learn about the opposite gender?

It's been said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Yet, I'm not inclined to think we can better understand one another from an astronomy class.

The running joke is that men just don't understand women, husbands just don't understand their wives, etc. We learn pretty early on to put the toilet seat down, but other tidbits of information elude us. Yet, husbands in particular are obligated to live with their wives in an understanding way, so their prayers are not hindered.

Since we don't want that, let's try to increase our understanding.

For your edification and/or enjoyment, I submit some points from a list I came across of things men need to know about women.
  1. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
  2. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
  3. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.
  4. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.
  5. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
  6. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.
  7. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
  8. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
  9. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.
  10. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
  11. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.
  12. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
  13. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.
  14. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
  15. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.
  16. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.
  17. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
  18. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
Ladies are there some other things we need to know about women, for your sake and our own?

3 Comments:

At 20 September, 2006 08:49, Anonymous Stephanie said...

Yes.

If we're acting strangely, and you ask what's wrong, the answer is never really, "nothing."

Even if your girl doesn't like sports, make the effort to include her in your obsession, so that she doesn't feel replaced by it.

 
At 20 September, 2006 14:09, Blogger Rev. said...

Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the heck are you talking about?

 
At 20 September, 2006 16:07, Blogger GUNNY said...

She kidnapped herself. Didn't that ever occur to you?!

 

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